Describing Oneself True

Over the past months I have gotten more in tune with those around me who identify somewhere on the LBGTQIA+ spectrum. I respect each and every individual as they present themselves.

My own representation is fairly simple. By physical appearance and by physical construct I am a cis-woman. My physical body is what I see and what I understand, and it’s perfectly fine by me.

By mentality, that’s where things get fudgey.

I’ve been a tomboy. Between the ages of about 7 and 11 I didn’t care if I was wearing a dress, I’d still knock you silly if there was an issue between us. I played stickball with local kids on my street. I chewed gum and would stick the icky chewed-up piece on a person’s behind if given the chance. I like baseball. I like football. I like hockey (and even wanted to play, but got sidelined by weak ankles – darnit!).

I’ve been called a ‘guy-in-a-girl-suit’, which is a not-really.  There are times I will wear girly clothing and makeup, and times I just want to be comfortable in jeans and a tee shirt, and carry keys and wallet in a pocket, no carrying a bag.

Gender-fluid? No, this doesn’t suit either. My physical body is female, and I am okay with that.  I don’t see or feel that my physical body should be other than it is.

I’d say the best wording is that I’m female, with the wisdom of my age that it’s okay to wear comfortable clothing, go out with no makeup, and only carry keys and a wallet in a pocket (when one can find clothing with decent pockets that fits, damnit!).

So, a cis-female, but with the wisdom of years to know that what I project to the world is fine. If I want to project as feminine in some cultural form, so be it. If I want to project more ‘masculine’ (via comfortable, looser clothing, no makeup, no feminine accessories) so be it. Whatever catches my mental desires – I can put on clothing and whatever accoutrements are necessary for such a look and be fine with it.

And if you question what I am projecting, I will still knock you silly. I still have a mean left hook.

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